The World’s Ugliest Car

It’s an age old question, but one I never grow tired of considering: Just what is the ugliest car ever built.  I’m not talking about a one-off, homebuilt special that some crackpot put together in his backyard.  I’m interested in the ones that were (supposedly) the work of an OEM or independent design team, and then approved by an (allegedly) intellegent bunch of product people and execs. 

Picture it: the president of DUM Motors and all his minions, the designer, chiefs of engineering, purchasing, marketing, and sales all standing around a clay model of the newest Schmaltzjet GT and saying “yup, that’s a winner.  Let’s build that thing.  Looks great.  It’s edgy.  Out of the box.  Gonna sell like hotcakes!” 

Everyone has their favorite picks for this Razzie of the car world.  A quick Google search brings up lots of AMC Gremlin and Pacer references, but I’m not so sure.  Their looks have held up pretty well over time, and were interesting small cars at a time when small cars weren’t.  Call me strange, but I like them.  A Gremlin X 304 V-8 4-speed is welcome in my garage any time.

The Pontiac Aztek pops up a lot too.  And on this one, I agree, with all my being.  I called this a mistake from Day One, but really, it wasn’t too difficult a call.  I can’t believe that smart guys like then GM CEO Rick Wagoner, design chief Wayne Cherry, and even (supposed) brand wizard Ron “Cars-Are-Just-Like-Toothpaste” Zarella giving this reconstituted garbage truck the green light.

China’s Ssangyong Rodius earns points.  As is often said, “It costs little if any more money to bend metal into handsome shapes — why does it get bent into ugly shapes on purpose.”  Is that a little Aztek I see in the greenhouse, profile, and grille shapes?

Ditto the Fiat Multipla.  Its 3×2 seating package, and much of the interior, is brilliant.  It’s glass house is airy.  It’s relatively efficient.  But the first gen model, born a decade ago, is just stupid ugly.  It’s wider at the top than at the bottom, giving the visual impression of an unstable vehicle.  Let’s not forget that Butter Face.  The Multi’s mid-life update brought about a substantial redesign, and it’s world’s better. 

When all the coyote points are tallied, my pick for World’s Ugliest Car (let’s call it WUC) is the Citroen Ami 6.  Citroen has given us some of the most remarkable, and at the some time some of the strangest cars in automotive history.  But the Ami 6, built from 1961-1971, was a new high in low.  And with horsepower ranging from 22 to 35 horsepower throughout the Ami’s decade on the market, you could at least say “well, it may be ugly, but it sure is slow.”

What are your WUC favorites?

2009 Aston Martin V8 Vantage Coupe, the AutoWeek Drivers Log:

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT JONATHAN WONG: There are some cars that look good, and then there are a few cars that look downright gorgeous. Astons fall into the latter category (except for the DB9 Volante).

Aston Martin DBS Volante opens up to the sunshine and sound:

Aston Martin understands: When weather permits, aural delights this pure shouldn’t be stifled behind layers of aluminum and glass and lacquer. The majestic notes of its 6.

2009 BMW 335d, the AutoWeek Drivers Log:

MANAGING EDITOR ROGER HART: Anyone who thinks Americans won’t warm up to a diesel car should drive one of these. I mean, 425 lb-ft of torque has a way of turning people’s heads in a different direction.

2009 Hyundai Elantra Touring, the AutoWeek Drivers Log:

SENIOR WEB REPORTER GREG MIGLIORE: This is a decent little car. Very useful, with the hatch and solid fuel economy. Surprisingly good steering and interior.

Cash for Clunkers: A Good Thing?

Cash for Clunkers is over, after 690,000-plus new cars sold, and another 690,000-plus old ones taken off the road because of it.  The total of our tax dollars spent was $2.9 Billion, coming in just under the $3 Billion cap.  Was it a good idea?  Was it worth doing?  Did it accomplish anything.  Yes.

Let’s look at the positives.  Nearly 700,000 new cars were sold, and that was a solid shot in the arm for carmakers and dealers at a time when both were in desperate need of one.  The 700,000 vehicles that were taken off the road are ones that pollute more and drink more gas than the new ones that replace them.  Less dependency on foreign oil and cleaner air are both pluses. 

I also know of instances where folks came in to look for a clunker deal, and either their trade-in, or the new car they wanted, didn’t qualify for the program.  But the dealer was able to convert this potentially missed opp into a transaction, so there is an additional positive ripple effect that doesn’t show up in the numbers.

Another major benefit is the mental stimulus that the process created, and was probably a factor in the rise in consumer confidence indexes over the last 60 days.  Consumer confidence is the toughest metric to calculate, and one of the most difficult things to affect. 

Was it perfect?  Hardly.  Dealers are still trying to get all their money back, although the government has added staff to process the claims, and promises everyone will be paid.  There are certainly administrative costs over and above the $2.9B fund. Some contend that many classic and special interest cars were sent to the crusher because of this process.  I’m not so sure. The maximum payment was $4500; if a car was worth more than that, the owner could have simply sold it private party.  The government didn’t troll the streets with a wrecker and snatch up cars at will.  Owners participated willingly. Dont’ get me wrong: I like grassroots collectibles as much as anyone, but a rusty old Ranger four-banger is hardly a future classic.

Will 700,000 less polluters solve all our environmental issues?  No, but it’s a positive impact, no matter.  Will the gas saved make a difference?  Again, it’s an incremental benefit, but every few million barrels helps.  Will Cash for Clunkers end this economic spiral?  Of course not.  Any reasonable person knows that this recession wasn’t built in a day, and can’t be cured overnight by any one program.  And I’m not in favor of anything that increases our already-too-high national debt.

Was $3 Billion too much?  Not compared to the hundreds of billions given to so many greedy, shortsighted cretins on Wall Street.  Viewed against that travesty, it was the bargain of all time.

What do you think?

CBS photo

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Ford Raptor swoops down on the desert:

Though they are increasingly fewer and farther between, there are still places in the world where you can drive full speed across the desert, foot to the floor, dodging rocks and wailing on whoop-de-dos the whole way.

Nissan chops the top off its 370Z and adds a whole lot of fun:

”What a cute butt!”